race report: staged at the very very back where i would stay for the entirety of the race. i was riding with two other ladies for the first 5 minutes of the race, until one of them blocked me, i stopped, and took my time recovering. i would continue riding by myself until i got lapped by almost two fields worth of riders. it was fun, probably would be way better if any kind of training (or skill) was involved. 

Yesterday was an amazing day. I hope that good momentum continues througout the weekend. I dreamed of being late to my first race, in advance of not being sure if I will race tomorrow. We’ll see. 

Polly pocket is my desk friend. Today she had a rough day.

Fried

Exhausted. Accidentally slept for 3 hours already this evening, now back to sleep. Interviewing is the most exhausting but it’s good work. I’m just at the beginning of this process I think. Not sure where I’ll land but I’m cautiously optimistic about what comes next.

the first road bike i ever had was a late 80s/early 90s aluminum road bike that i got from a local nonprofit that refurbishes donated bikes and sells them to the public. After a winter riding around on a hybrid, I decided that I would be way faster and able to cover farther distances on a bike with skinny tires and drop handlebars. I went to look at bikes at a bunch of stores in the area, scoured craigslist and talked to friends. I was just beginning to meet people who rode bikes everywhere and didn’t take the T, and I didn’t know if I could do it. 

This bike was sitting there at the shop, and a lady who would go on to become a friend years later was testing it out. I thought it was probably too big, but I waited and she left and I tried it out. I knew it would become my favorite bike (for a brief time). it was essentially the gateway bike – after that i would get the fixed gear and then the ‘rello and then who knows what will happen next….

Failed to post yesterday. Failed to get where I’m going on time today. It’s ok. Tomorrow will be better.

job search.

The best career advice I’ve ever gotten was from a woman that I met 6 years ago. At this time, I was working part-time in the admissions office of the liberal arts college I attended, and her family came in for a tour and lunch on campus. We got to talking, and at that point I was thinking about going in to HR as it made sense with my graduate coursework, and I really had no idea what I might actually be qualified to do. This kind soul gave me her card and suggested I call or email her if I had any questions. In a moment of fearlessness (wow, thinking about this makes me feel like my past-self was kind of brave!) I actually did reach out and we talked at least once. This is the piece of advice that has stuck with me: 

You can never make a mistake with the first job that you take. You have everything to learn and very little (ok, nothing) to lose. You’ll have opportunities to make different and perhaps better choices in the future with what you learn, but that first job is just the beginning. You’ll see what works, and what doesn’t, what you like to do and what you absolutely cannot stand. 

It’s with this advice that I can’t beat myself up over picking the wrong job a couple of years ago, or not hanging on a little longer at the last one. Leaving my first job when I did. There are so many opportunities to self doubt and pick apart confidence, but I’m determined not to do so. 

 

 

bikes.

Bikes have changed me, my experience in Boston and my social existence here.

I started biking in Boston about four years ago. I moved to Allston when I first arrived and lived in a big house with 6 other people. Half our house was sold on cycle commuting, so I saw a lot of bike fixing and heard a lot of bike talk. I’ve always been kind of stubborn, and I needed to figure it out on my own so it would take another year before I would begin to see the light.

I moved out of that house in September and across the river into Cambridge. I signed up for a birthright trip shortly afterwards which would involve some cycling (mountain bikes!) but to prepare, I decided that it might be a good idea to make sure that I still could ride a bike.

The cheapest option (and the most work?) involved the Somerville Bike Auction, a police auction of bikes that were recovered or abandoned in the next town over. A friend met me there early in the morning where we scoped out bikes that would work for me. I got in a bidding war with another lady who happens to be short over a grey fuji mixte (one distinct memory is a guy who said something about how it was such a nice mixte – and i just said “yup” because i didn’t know what he was talking about.). It took a couple of weeks and $130 in addition to the $35 I paid for the bike to get it fixed up and rideable. That Wednesday night, the week of Thanksgiving, I rode home in light snow without lights (I think I had a helmet?). That first ride was a little timid and a little wobbly, but I had started reading about biking in the city, the beginnings of incessant reading about cycling style and urban bikes.

That bike wasn’t fast, it wasn’t pretty – but it did what I wanted it to do. I remembered just how fun it was to ride around, and I was hooked.

Daylight savings time switched over this weekend, and it makes everything feel so late and gloomy and wintry. I’d like some more summer or real fall please! Leaving work when it’s completely dark is not very fun. 

This weekend I stayed home and avoided most people and the city of Boston. It was great! I’m rarely so productive on the weekends, but this weekend was an exception. I got a lot done, have snacks and some lunches for the week, and have clean sheets and a favorite outfit to wear to work tomorrow. I feel refreshed and prepared for the workweek, and not sad or frustrated that tomorrow is Monday. 

Typically my Sunday nights are a little sad; I’ve just gotten a lot better at doing fun things on the weekends, and it’s sad to have to say hello to a week of emotional turbulence at work. However, my outlook has changed and I’m attempting to focus on positive upcoming activities and events. Each weekend for the next month or so involves fun bike related thing, and I’d like to make the winter less gloomy and more bright. There are cooking experiments and craft projects to be done, research to begin and all kinds of adventures to be had. 

I think that’s why I started to write, and inadvertently picked November to do NaBloPoMo. We’ll see how it goes – but I think that this upcoming year is going to involve a lot more problem solving and confronting challenges, and much less feeling stuck.